Monday, February 14, 2011

Pop Quiz Time!

1. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3. During the 1980′s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. On May 13th, 1981, Pope John Paul II was shot and critically wounded by:
a. A fish called Wanda
b. Calvin Klein underwear model Markus Shankenberg
c. Juice Newton
d. Muslim male between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davey Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. January 25th 1993, shootings/murders at CIA headquarters in Virginia committed by:
a. Team Edward
b. Team Jacob
c. Sookie Stackhouse
d. Muslim male between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Jasmine Guy
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. October 12th 2000, the USS Cole was rammed with a boat full of explosives off the coast of Yemen — killing 17 American sailors and injuring 39 others — by:
a. Emanuel Lewis
b. Josie & the Pussycats
c. A drag queen impersonating Margaret Thatcher
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

14. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

15. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim males mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

16. In 2009, 31 people wounded and 13 American Soldiers murdered on base at Fort Hood by:

a. The last surviving male Solid Gold dancer
b. Dr. Girlfriend
c. Willow Rosenberg
d. Muslim male between the ages of 17 and 40.

17. On May 1st 2010, a crude car bomb made from gasoline, propane, fireworks, and alarm clocks was rigged to explode in Times Square by:

a. Sigmund the Sea Monster
b. Fran Eaton, Editor of the Illinois Review
c. Mumm-Ra the Everliving
d. Muslim male between the ages of 17 and 40

18. Federal agents prevented SOMEONE from blowing up a Christmas tree lighting ceremony and murdering dozens of people in Oregon in December 2010. Who was the would-be bomber?

(a) A five year old boy
(b) An 80-year old nun
(c) A businessman on his way to a convention
(d) A Muslim male between the ages of 17 and 40

19. In Sydney, Australia SOMEONE went berserk behind the counter of a KFC restaurant when a customer asked to add bacon to his chicken sandwich (in a KFC restaurant that advertised the availability of adding bacon to its chicken sandwiches). That berserker was:

(a) Former American Idol judge Paula Abdul
(b) Mizz Beasley, former First Dog of the United States
(c) Boystown drag queen Teri Yaki
(d) A muslim male between the ages of 17 and 40

20. Less than a half hour into the New Year of 2011, SOMEONE set off a bomb outside of a Coptic Christian Church in Egypt just as mass was letting out. In the chaos afterward, SOME people were stomping on exploded body parts of the murdered dead in the streets while cheering:

(a) Ghandi is great!
(b) Buddha is great!
(c) Moses is great!
(d) Admiral Akbar!

Bonus Question:
Who bombed that Church in Egypt on New Year’s 2011, deliberately killing Christians simply because they are Christians?
(a) The “Juice”
(b) Buddhists
(c) Wiccans
(d) Muslim males between the ages of 17 and 40

21. On November 2, 2004, who murdered Theo Van Gogh for producing the film Submission, which was critical of the treatment of women in Islam, by shooting him eight times, attempting to decapitate him, and then left two knives implanted in his torso, one attaching a five-page note that threatened Western countries, Jews and Ayaan Hirsi Ali?
(a) An Amish youth on Rumspringa
(b) A Tea Partier
(c) Roger Ebert, who felt Submission lacked a proper story arc
(d) A Muslim male between the ages of 17-40

22. On June 30, 2007, who drove a dark green Jeep Cherokee loaded with propane canisters into the glass doors of the Glasgow International Airport terminal and set it ablaze while screaming “Allah!”?
(a) Two Jehova’s Witnesses who felt this would be more effective than going house to house
(b) Two disgruntled baggage handlers
(c) Al Cowlings and OJ Simpson (no wait, that was a white Bronco)
(d) Two Muslim males between the ages of 17-40

23. On June 1, 2009, outside a military recruiting station in Little Rock, Arkansas, one soldier was shot and another soldier was wounded by:
(a) A Pulaski Technical College sophomore
(b) Cindy Sheehan
(c) Rev. Sun Myung Moon
(d) A Muslim male between the ages of 17-40

24. On August 30, 2006, an auto shop worker went on a hit-and-run rampage with his SUV that left a Fremont man dead and at least 18 San Franciscans injured. While his family described him as “loving” and “caring”, witnesses claimed the driver appeared to be aiming for people, intentionally hitting them, and was heard saying “I’m a terrorist, I don’t care” at the scene of the arrest. The driver was:
(a) Stevie Wonder
(b) An extra from a student driver safety film made in the 80s
(c) A little old lady who couldn’t see over the steering wheel
(d) A Muslim male between the ages of 17-40

25. On March 3, 2006, a Jeep Grand Cherokee was driven through a common courtyard area of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill at 40 mph, intentionally hitting nine people, to “avenge the deaths of Muslims worldwide” and to “punish” the United States government. The driver was:
(a) A fraternity pledge
(b) An overworked TA
(c) A high school senior whose UNC application was rejected
(d) A Muslim male between the ages of 17-40

26. In October 2010, 46 Catholics were murdered inside a Baghdad Syriac church by:

(a) popular 70s band Earth, Wind, and Fire
(b) notorious race-baiter Henry Gates
(c) former child star Danny Pintauro (of Who’s the Boss? fame)
(d) Muslim males between the ages of 17 and 40

27. On November 25th 2011, who murdered 31 people in the security line at Moscow’s Domodedovo Airport with a suitcase bomb detonated at a busy time of day?

(a) Neil Patrick Harris (TV’s Doogie Houser)
(b) Actress Natalie Portman, of Star Wars and Black Swan fame
(c) The dog from Frasier, Eddie the Dog
(d) Muslim male between the ages of 17-40


So How'd you do?

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